Believe it or not that admonition is intended not for my cousins of the blue state persuasion but for my brethern conservatives and that handful of brave souls who still adhere to the Republican banner (a white elephant lying feet up, trunk akimbo on a field of deficit red).
I am begging, pleading that my conservative chums and right-wingmen allay their partisanship through the next few days and join there adversaries in celebrating the most historic Presidential Inaugaration since the first in 1789. Left or right, red or blue, black or white, Tuesday, January 20, 2009 will be a day for the ages. And the oath sworn at noon today will mark a great turning point in the history of U.S. politics — if not the history of the U.S. itself. So don’t spoil it by acting like a Democrat.
Barack Hussein Obama was elected fairly and squarely and by substantive — though not landslide — majorities in both the popular and Electoral College votes cast by the largest voter turnout in history. For those who are not taking my point, let me more direct: Barack Hussein Obama is our duly elected President, the head of the Executive Branch of our government, and “Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States” (so, please Will Smith and Oprah, stop refering to him as your Commander in Chief unless you have taken up a uniform of the U.S. armed forces). He is neither the pResident Select nor the Commander in Thief. Like every other president before him (except probably JFK) he will become president legitimately and lawfully.
He will be my president as much any Democrat’s and I intend to give him a fair shot at it. And I am asking my conservative and Republican comrades to do the same. For the 100 days following the Inaugaration, he will have my unqualified support. I will continue to give him the benefit of the doubt for the remainder of this year, but if he hasn’t solved all of my problems by the 2010 election, well, I will consider all Democrats indelibly tainted.
My bill of particulars is drawn in large measure from the criticism of the 43rd administration, much of which — it might surprise you to learn — I agree with, to a degree. But these should be no-brainers for the incoming administration:
- Put an end to the morally indefensible “Don’t ask don’t tell” policy governing the participation of homosexuals in the U.S. military. Why this is an issue is simply beyond me. Either homosexuality is such an impediment to discipline and good order that there shouldn’t be the least compunction about prohitibiting it. Or, more likely, it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference as long as unsolicited sexual advances are strictly off limits. In either case, this issue could and should be resolved with a simple and swift executive order.
- Close the Gitmo detention center – don’t just order it closed; don’t just lament its existence; close it. Personally, I have always believed that it was a lousy response to a lousy situation, regardless of how bad the detainees are or were — and they were.
- Bring the troops home — don’t send them to the sinkhole of Afghanistan. That war was lost the moment the Bush administration decided to engage in nation building. Focusing on Iraq has had nothing to do with the failure of Afghanistan. The misbegotten Afgan adventure — I mean beyond the routing of the Taleban — was doomed from the start no matter how many lives and how much treasure we squander on it. Afghanistan, as a country, never existed before the 20th century and it never will. The recipe for success there? Let it simmer in its own juices; bomb from time to time as necessary to remind them that there are consequences to bad behavior.
- Cure Parkinson’s, Cancer and AIDS. You can do it now that science will once again be unfettered and solidly on the public dole. I don’t remember who, exactly, but I remember someone saying during the 2004 Democrat convention that “Christopher Reeves would be walking by [then] if Al Gore [had been] elected in 2000.” Well, maybe not, but I’m expecting miracles from the scientific community now that there will no longer be restrictions on federal funding of human embryonic stem cell (hESC) research. I expect Obama to reverse the Bush administration and return to the Clinton policy on hESC more or less immediately…er, um…maybe not the Clinton policy of no funding regardless of restrictions, but, you know, the policy Al Gore maybe, might have implemented had he been elected in 2000.
- End Gobal Warming! Well, the man-made part of it anyway. The solar and geophysical trends of the last 20,000 years will just have to work themselves out. Hopefully, once petroleum exhaust and cow farts are under control, all the other warming that’s been going on remorselessly since the last ice age will kind of work itself out, or won’t matter…or something.
- Save us from economic ruin. Why should anyone have to suffer the consequences of their own irresponsible actions?
- If you can’t give us all free health care, at least make someone else pay for it, just like the Europeans and Canadians who get all the health care they can handle without ever seeing what percentage of their tax bill goes to “free” medicine.
- And while we’re on the subject of Europeans: Can we please let them pay a little more for their own defense? I mean, does it seem right to you that these people should be forced to ally themselves with a corrupt empire like the U.S. just to keep the ayatollahs and Russians at bay? Think how much better they will feel about themselves if we just let them take care of their own security problems.
The list could go on, of course, but I’ll settle for just that little to-do list. I would, however, like to remind the incoming administration of something that should not be overlooked:
Al-Qaeda is determined to attack inside the United States. They might use airplanes or truck bombs or suicide bombers. They might highjack airplanes and hold the passengers hostage or they might crash the airplanes into buildings or into other airplanes or for find some other nefarious purpose.
They might use the truck bombs against public or private buildings or just explode them in public places with a lot of people around. They might do something similar with suicide bombers. Or they might place cell phone triggered bombs on commuter trains or in hotel lobbies. They might have guys with machine guns, hand grenades and satchel bombs attack airports, hotels and restaurants.
I don’t know how I can be more specific than this — I mean I’ve just detailed several scenarios that must surely be on AQ’s drawing board right now. And anyone can imagine this happening at any time. So President Obama, if any of this happens on your watch: It’s on you buddy — just like Bush is saddled with 9/11.
