Ming Quahog Dead at 410
Mollusc about town and the subject of much scientific scrutiny, Ming Quahog of the North Atlantic was found dead in what appears to have been a tragic dredging accident off the coast of Iceland. Ming is believed to have been 410 years old at the time of his death, although he sometimes gave his age as a more youthful 405.
Colleagues in the scientific community are quick to point out that Ming did not die in vain. “He was doing what he loved.” Noted an observer. “He was as happy as a…uh…well, he couldn’t have been happier”
Marine biologists around the world are lauding Ming’s sacrifice to the understanding of age and growth among invertebrates, but some gerontologists feel that his contribution is overrated.
Ming was alive in the time of William Shakespeare but, unlike other Shakespeare contemporaries, there has been little or no speculation about Ming having been a co-author of any of the bards works. Scholars are also pretty certain that Ming is not the bivalve referred to by Pistol in The Merry Wives of Windsor.
Ming is survived by the Quahogs of the North Atlantic as well as the extended Mollusc clan. Family has asked that gifts be made in Ming’s name to the Sushi Institute and, if possible specified for the promotion of non-Atlantic and non-molluscan seafoad entrees. Services will be held at Red Lobsters around the U.S. and Arthur Treacher’s Fish and Chips in the U.K. The Quahogs recommend the batter-dipped fried shrimp rather than steamed clams or chowder.
A moving tribute can be found on the BBC News Website: Ming the clam is ‘oldest animal’